Moses and the Exodus from Egypt

I woke up yesterday morning and had this feeling of melancholy, although I had no reason to be.  My wife was away for the week, but I have had similar times of being alone before without any effect. No...something else was up. So I closed my mind to outside influences and waited for a hint of what was going on.

Within a few minutes I had the strongest urge to go somewhere isolated. Somewhere where no people exist. Somewhere where I could be all alone. And then the memory of Dreamworks movie "Prince of Egypt" popped into my head.  The scene where Moses was all alone, crawling through the desert.  He had just left his father's empire after finding out his true roots. He had become someone who he was not meant to be.  I will continue to use this version of the Moses story as it is the one appearing in my psyche.

Then my ego got involved.  "I have to go to some desolate location so that I can receive a message from God", I thought to myself. Well, that was short lived after I realized that it is all psychological and had nothing to do with the outside world. Then I revisted the story from the film.  The whole point is for Moses to save his people - the slaves who created his father's empire. So what does that mean to me?

Slavery reminded me of the beatings these people received.  It wasn't so much that they slaved for another, but the terrible treatment they received while building.  They were treated like animals.  Not human at all.  And there was a vast number of them.  Genrations after generations, being bred to build the Pharaoh's city. But, what has that got to do with me? Then it hit me like a lightening bolt.  It resembles my self talk.  Each one of the slaves represents how I beat myself up with my inner dialogue.  I have become like a slave to it. Also, relying on it to build my own empire - the way I and the ego exist. My family was not very strong on positive reinforcement. My father could'nt even say to my face how proud he was of me for being awarded a master's degree.  He told my wife.

How did the slaves become so many? Where did they come from.  Is it like how the modern psychologists say it is - we continue to breate ourselves long after the original beraters have left our existence? Well, it could be - but there are so many!  It's a whole race of people spanning many generations - hundreds of thousands. That's a huge number. Unfortunately, for me I realised what it was.  It was my own critisism and judgement of other people over my lifetime.  The first time I mentally critisised/judged someone, the birth of the first slave came into being laying the first brick of this new empire in my psyche. Had I been this judgemental/critical in my past 5 decades?  Now, don't get me wrong - I don't go running around telling people what I think of them, but I did have a tendancy to "think" it.  My psyche started getting me off this track about 6 months ago.  Every time I would 'think" something judgemental or critical about someone, my throat would clag up.  It took me a couple of weeks to figure it out and now I catch myself doing it and stop immediately.  No more clagged up throats.

So, here I have hundreds of thousands of critisisms and judgements working in my psyche. Boy, I must have been working overtime in my mind! Naturally, I began to think that other people would be "thinking" judgements/critisisms towards me, because that is what I did.  I called it "having to dodge bullets".  They are so fast you can't see them. And what a fitting image it is for the building of the Egyptian empire.  Buildings made of the largest and heaviest blocks of solid stone, requiring a huge team of slaves to move into place. Buildings that last a very long time. It seemed like psyche was giving me a way out of this situation with the story of Moses.

Following on from the story, it was obvious that I had to get Pharaoh to "Let my people go". Funnily enough I didn't have to. Coming to the reliasation as to what has been happening over all these years, I came to the conclusion myself that enough was enough.  It was time to free the slaves and take them to the promised land.  I din't have to convince Pharaoh (ego/inner authority) as I had already convinced myself through the realisation.

Now the stage is set for the "active imagination" or what C. G. Jung calls "dreaming with eyes open".  It didn't take long at all for me to see the many, many slaves that had been born and bred in my psyche.  I told them that they are now free...but how the hell do I find the promised land and lead them to it.  What is the promised land? To me it reflects another biblical icon being the Garden of Eden and once I had seen that, it was obvious that the promised land is the "Self". Or, following on from Robert A Johnson's "He", for whom does the grail serve? I immediately asked the question and a resounding "The Self" came back from the huge crowd.  The slaves had known the answer, because I knew the answer.  So of we go, with me leading the way.  Then I thought to myself about the parting of the red sea, but it did not happen, What did happen was the arrival of an abyss with a tightrope stretching across it.  So vast that you could not see the other side. I reassured the many people that all will be ok and to just have faith in what we are about to do - that goes for me as well, and slowly and steadily each and every one of us moved along the rope as if we had trained to do it for many years. Inch by inch we made our way along, a train of people moving at a snails pace.  Would one of us fall, causing the whole population to fall into the abyss.  I could feel the vibrating rope under my feet straining with the total weight.  I looked down several times to the total darkness beneath the rope.  I didn't want to know how deep it went.  I continued to concentrate on what our task was.

Finally, the other side appeard and one by one each and every person - man, woman and child made  it to the other side.  Then the rope snapped and fell to each cliff face.  No Pharaoh would be follwing us.  We continued to walk and coming from the distance was a land of great light.  Trees, mountains, rivers, oceans - the land of plenty all appeared before us. We had arrived at the "Self". Total nature at its best. The people the dispersed into this vast scene. The feeling os happiness was all around me, but it was shortlived.

How was I going to get back?  The rope had snapped over the abyss.  I have to get back, otherwise I will remain totally surrounded by the "Self". Not a good place for my conscious self to be on a continual basis.  Suddenly, without warning I shoot up into the air.  "I can fly." I yell out.  Not only can I fly, but I can do it at super speed.  Then I realise that Hermes is with me - the traveller.  I thank Hermes for what he is helping me to do and I make my way back to the conscious world.

The following day I put it to the test.  I went into town to see if I had even the faintest hint that I would be judgemental or cticial of anyone.  The great news is that there is not a peep.  I don't even have to try and stop because the initial action does not start. Happy days.